This week, we will follow up on last weeks column by looking at some of the scams associated with Internet dating websites. While online dating can be fun and rewarding, it can also be crazy and dangerous. Let the online dater beware.
In particular, beware of any messages that read even remotely like the following:
“I am so glad to read from you. I am from Oklahoma but presently I lived with my Mother in England,London. etc. I still believe love has no boundaries.( yes we may somehow far from each other is some miles But distance away feels extra special.) I’m a great listener when my partner have trouble minded problem. I am the only Daughter of My Parent and i Do love them so much , but just that i Miss this presence of Dad any time i remember how this Happens,all My dad properties are In charge of Our lawyer, i will Take over Every thing Until i Got Married to My future Husband someday..and this Has been the Mean reason Why i am Online dating Stuff.”
If you were a single, lonely, middle-aged man, would you fall for an email message like that? Believe it or not, many men do. I actually received those words, typos, bad grammar and all, in a dating website message. Naturally, the message was accompanied by a picture of a 20-something female who looked as pretty as a pinup girl and as American as apple pie. Even better, the message was addressed directly to me. This young specimen of loveliness actually wanted to go out with me, the middle-aged geek.
Of course, the above is an extreme example of a badly-worded dating scam; most have slightly better grammar. Under scrutiny, though, the majority of dating website scam letters can be found to have at least a few red-flag inconsistencies. Some will be a mixture of perfectly written phrases interrupted with awful grammar, showing that the scammers have copied and pasted well-written phrases from various sources and tried to fill in the blanks themselves. Still, I’ve lived in Oklahoma for almost 40 years and I’ve never met an Okie with such atrocious grammar as found in the example above; bad grammar, to be sure, but not that bad.
The reason for the poor English skills is simple: many dating scammers, despite what they say or the photos they send, are not from America. A large number of these crooks are based in Russia, China and Africa. The picture of the 25-year old swimsuit model was probably sent by a 55-year old male truck driver from the Ukraine.
Dating website scams work pretty much the same way as any Internet-related scam. First, the scammer has to gain the trust and confidence (hence, the “con” in “con game”) of his victim. The scammer strings the victim along until the time is right and then asks for money. They are all too often successful.
In dating scams, tender and sweet words are exchanged, exploiting everyone’s natural desire to be wanted and loved. Personal and family histories are related, likes and dislikes shared and intimate details revealed, often over a period of weeks or months. Once he has gained the trust of his victim, the scammer moves in for the kill. It’s usually something like, “If only I had $500 for a plane ticket, I would visit you,” or, “if only I had another few thousand dollars, my little boy could have that surgery to cure his blindness,” or, “I have a money order for $5,000, but I can’t cash it in my country. If I send it to you, will you deposit it in your bank and wire me the money?” I know of one fellow in town who fell for this last scam. It took his true innocence (read, “stupidity”) combined with an expensive lawyer to keep him from being charged with wire fraud by the FBI.
For some very entertaining and informative videos about all types of Internet scams, visit fakechecks.org, a website created by the National Consumers League. Take their online “Fraud Test” and see if you pass. After all of this, you have no excuse for failure.