by Dave Moore, 6-16-19
When it comes to my computer repair business, I have become a “Give it to me straight, Doc,” kind of guy, because that’s what most customers say they want. “Just give it to me straight, Dave, I can take it.”
That is, until you really do give it to them straight. You quickly learn they didn’t expect things to be quite so straight, as in, they didn’t think things could be quite so bad. Couldn’t I have softened the blows, just a little bit? Sometimes, though, there are no pretty ways to deal with things, and you just have to give it to them straight.
With that in mind, allow me to give it to you straight, here and now, in a detached, indirect, hypothetical sort of way. I’ll give it to you straight about some computer, technology and Internet issues, so if I ever really have to “give it to you straight,” you’ll be better prepared to deal with reality.
“Give it to me straight, Doc, I can take it!” OK, how about this? Your computers will fail. They just will. Your computers, your phones, your iPads and laptops will fail. That’s just how things are. They are imperfect devices built by imperfect people in an imperfect world, and they will fail. Why is that so shocking to people?
They say, “Well, I just don’t understand how this could happen.” Why not? How could it not happen? Cars fail. Plumbing fails. Electrical grids fail. Heck, entire countries fail. Why is it so unbelievable that a complicated machine like a computer or phone could fail? How could it not fail? Failure is its ultimate destiny.
Bottom line to that story is, backup your important files. Please, I’m begging you. Backup your files.
“Give it to me straight, Doc, I can take it!” OK, how about this? When your computer says “server not found,” or, “unable to reach destination host,” it’s not telling you something is wrong with the computer. Instead, it is telling you something is wrong with the Internet connection.
Stop blaming the computer (be it desktop, laptop, phone or tablet) every time there is an Internet failure. It’s not the computer’s fault; it is, instead, the fault of your Internet service, as in Cox, AT&T, Windstream, or whoever. It could be the fault of the website or service you are trying to reach. Did you know the Google Cloud service crashed for four hours a few weeks ago, taking down Google Docs, Youtube, GSuite, Snapchat and Uber? Put the blame where the blame is due. Blaming your computer for an Internet failure is like blaming your car’s engine when you get a flat tire.
While I’m giving it to you straight, know the ugly truth is that the Internet is a horribly flawed technology, yet we have now based our entire society upon it, and it’s too late to go back. Computer networking in general is a flawed technology. Did you know computer networks actually have things called “collisions,” where data packets can accidentally pile up and cause traffic jams? No kidding. There are things called error correcting codes designed to help with such problems.
“Give it to me straight, Doc, I can take it!” OK, one more thing. You are smarter than your computer. Stop being intimidated by that dumb box full of circuit boards and lousy programming. You are infinitely smarter than any computer on earth, and it’s time to start acting like it. Stopped being bossed around by something that literally does not have the brains God gave a bug. You have to take charge of your own situation. Learn what’s going on, take charge, and be happier for it.
By the way, I had always thought that John Wayne said, “Give it to me straight, Doc” but I can’t find any movie clip or quote where he actually said that. Somehow, though, the phrase has become an American idiom.
There’s a movie where Wayne said, “Let’s have it straight, Doc,” (The Wings of Eagles – 1957), and one where he said to his doctor, played by Jimmy Stewart, “Why don’t you just say it, flat out,” (The Shootist – 1976), but I can’t find anywhere John Wayne actually said, “Give it to me straight, Doc.” If you can find that refernece, I’d like to know.
Dave Moore has been fixing computers in Oklahoma since 1984. Founder of the non-profit Internet Safety Group Ltd, he also teaches Internet safety community training workshops. He can be reached at 405-919-9901 or www.internetsafetygroup.com