It has been almost two years since I wrote about my experiences with Internet dating websites, which I found to be fun, somewhat addictive and a bit creepy. I’ve been encouraged lately to write an update article, which I now submit for your approval.
Has the Internet dating scene changed much in the past two years? Well, yes and no. Dating websites have certainly gotten more sophisticated, in that they can provide more functions and features to their subscribers. Unfortunately, these enhancements have done nothing to change basic human nature. People tell the truth, people lie and people scam. Dating website scams have also gotten more sophisticated, but they still depend on one unchanging fact: many people are, to put it bluntly, suckers.
The first thing to remember when getting involved with online dating is that the anonymity of the Internet allows people to reinvent themselves. “Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative,” (from the old Johnny Mercer song) is pretty much the de rigueur for how people present themselves on dating websites. This can lead to some very interesting and sometimes surprising encounters.
Speaking from my own experience as a man seeking to date a woman on dating websites, I have to warn my fellow males of one thing. Men, you need to know that, no matter what they say about themselves in their dating website profiles, most women are not interested in dating at all. They joined that dating website simply to lurk and look. Most of them will never look at your profile, will never respond to your “flirts” and “winks” and will never reply to your emails and messages. If you can suck it up and handle rejection on a massive scale, then you might actually have some Internet dating success.
Always keep in mind the “reinventing” aspect of dating website profiles. No woman wants to admit to having only one eye, no hair, a peg-leg and a nickname of “Stumpy.” As such, they will use enhanced “glamour” photographs utilizing the best angles and lighting techniques to accentuate whatever positive features that exist. Also, don’t count on their photographs to be at all current. While most women are forthright enough to use current photographs, some are not. I’ve experienced this one firsthand. I once went to meet a lady at her home so that we could go out on our first date and, when the door opened, I thought for sure that I was at the wrong house. In her online photograph, she looked to be in her mid-forties. In real life, she looked to be in her early eighties; I kid you not. What a shocker. Women that I’ve met tell me that men do the same thing. You have been warned.
It also helps to carefully read the descriptions that potential dates post about themselves and try to read between the lines. When I first started my Internet dating adventures, I had only one simple rule. As a Christian, I had decided, “No Buddhists or New Age wackos.” Not that I have anything against such women; they just aren’t my type. I have since had to add another category to my list: space aliens. Yes, I actually went out with a woman who was convinced that she was a space alien.
When the date first started out over dinner and drinks at Chili’s, things could not have been better. A very attractive woman in her forties, the lady from Puerto Rico was smart, funny and, quite simply, a knockout. As the evening progressed, she asked me about my beliefs. I told her a few things, and all was well until she revealed that she was a space alien. At first I thought she was kidding, but soon found out that, no, she was quite serious. Not only was she a space alien, she was also a space alien descended from the same race of space aliens that built the Great Pyramids in Egypt. As she went on to describe “the mothership” and how it was going to someday “beam her up,” I can only imagine how I looked. There I sat, my mouth half open, staring blankly at her lovely face, no longer hearing the words coming from her mouth, or anything else that was going on in the restaurant. Instead, all I could hear was my own voice reverberating inside my head, saying, “Oh, no. What have I gotten myself into?”
It was only when I got back home and reviewed her dating website profile that I realized how I had made such a colossal blunder. In my eagerness to go out with such an attractive woman, I had overlooked the part of her profile where she described her religion, but there it was, in black and white. “Religion: OTHER.” Oops.
Next week, we’ll look at the latest dating website scams and how they can be avoided.