By Dave Moore, 11/29/2020
Last week’s column discussed the plight of computer users who don’t bother to read the End User License Agreement (EULA) contracts that they sign. That box full of legal mumbo-jumbo that pops up when you use a tech device or computer program for the first time, to which you click “I agree,” often contains serious limitations on your behavior, and sometimes your wallet.
Below you will find the text of some specific EULA clauses from Microsoft, along with my comments. Microsoft is not the only computer software company that writes egregious EULA clauses; in fact, most major software companies have resorted to the use of heavy-handed EULAs.
Many Microsoft EULAs have a clause that reads, “You may not work around any technical limitations in the software.” Interpretation: If the program crashes because of a programming flaw, you may not attempt to fix the problem. Also, you may not use clever “work-arounds” (AKA, “hacks”) to make the software perform functions that might meet your needs, but have not been thought of by Microsoft programmers.
From the Microsoft Office (Word, Excel, etc.) EULA we find, “If installing or using the software damages your computer, or causes incidental, consequential or other damages, you may have no recourse, even if Microsoft knew or should have known about the possibility of the damages.”
Interpretation: What a crummy deal! What if car manufacturers put this sort of clause in their contracts? What if Ford sold cars that required you to sign a contract with a disclaimer that said, “Your car may suddenly burst into flames (spontaneously combust) and you may die. Even if we know ahead of time that we are selling you a car that might spontaneously combust and that you might be killed as a result of the spontaneous combustion, if your car spontaneously combusts and you are killed as a result of the spontaneous combustion, well, that’s just too bad for you.”
Sometimes Microsoft issues two different EULAs for the same program. One of the The Microsoft FrontPage website building program (since discontinued) had a printed-on-paper EULA that reads, “You may not use the software in connection with any site that disparages Microsoft, MSN, MSNBC, Expedia, or their products or services… or promote[s] racism, hatred or pornography.” The website version read, “[Using ‘media elements’], You may not create obscene or scandalous works…” Yet another version read, “You may not use the Web Components in connection with any site that is likely to… violate any applicable law, or promote racism [or] hatred…”
These ridiculous clauses beg the following questions: Who decides if something “disparages” Microsoft? Is it somehow illegal to disparage Microsoft, but not other companies? Which branch of the thought police decides if something “promotes racism, hatred or pornography?” Who defines what constitutes racism, hatred or pornography? Who defines what is obscene or scandalous? Who decides if a website is “likely” to do something wrong? A judge? How is a person supposed to know ahead of time what specific behavior is forbidden?
One of the most bizarre EULAs I’ve seen was from Yahoo. It stated that if you had a seizure while viewing their website, or any of their affiliate websites, too bad for you; they weren’t going to accept any responsibility. While they may exist, I’ve never seen an “anti-seizure” clause put forth by any other company.
Oddball, and downright funny EULA clauses are out there, too, like the one from Apple’s iTunes program: “You also agree that you will not use these products for… the development, design, manufacture, or production of nuclear, missile, or chemical or biological weapons.” Darn; I’d heard that iTunes could make a pretty dandy missile. Oh, well.
Still, companies that include abusive clauses in their EULAs are doing a disservice to their customers, and may be digging a pretty deep legal hole. Read your EULAs. Then, do what you think is right.
Dave Moore has been fixing computers in Oklahoma since 1984. Founder of the non-profit Internet Safety Group Ltd., he also teaches Internet safety community training workshops. He can be reached at 405-919-9901 or www.internetsafetygroup.org