by Dave Moore, CISSP
09/24/2023
When used safely, a computer is a wonderful thing, whether it’s a desktop, laptop, phone or tablet computer. A computer is also a “power tool,” and, when used properly, can be a wonderful help. When used improperly, it can be like a power saw: a danger to yourself and those around you.
Suddenly, that wonderful power tool has turned into a weapon.
Two or three times during my computer-guy career, I’ve been confronted with a very unpleasant and difficult situation similar to that experienced by children and their siblings when they realize a parent can no longer safely operate an automobile.
This occurred with both of my parents, who passed away years ago. With my Mother, the problem was a form of early onset dementia. She would would forget things, sometimes trivial things, sometimes important things. Sometimes, while driving her car, it was like she would forget how it operated. It seemed like traffic signals and signs made no sense, anymore. Parking lots were especially troublesome.
For someone who had a safe driving record their entire life to suddenly experience multiple fender-benders and small accidents in a short period of time was a shocker to the family. When my siblings and I had to face the fact that Mom could no longer drive safely, we realized and agreed that we somehow had to take away the car keys. Transportation for Mom’s errands would be provided by family, friends, public transportation or taxicabs.
I think the grievous task of breaking the news to Mom fell to my sister, with the rest of my siblings there and supporting the decision. At first, Mom angrily resisted the idea, but eventually came to be at peace with it. She recognized she had become dangerous, not only to herself, but also those those around her. Thus ended her driving career, which, if allowed to continue, could have ended much more dramatically.
With my Dad, it was different. While his mind remained sharp, his body just couldn’t keep up. Physical ailments caused his reflexes to slow down. After his series of minor accidents, it became clear he should no longer be driving, but this time I was assigned the task of telling him. He stubbornly protested at first, and vowed to be more careful and cautious than he was used to.
After debating the subject for a while, I brought up an scenario that worked. “Think about it, Dad,” I said. “If something happened suddenly while you were driving, such as a child running out in front of you, your foot couldn’t make it to the brake pedal fast enough to keep from hitting them.” He relented, and agreed. Away went the car keys.
Computers can be like automobiles. They can be a great tool to help, or a dangerous weapon, putting you and those around you in harm’s way. I recall one case where a computer was causing endless grief for one of my customers.
She kept making the same mistakes, over and over, bringing harm to herself and those connected to her. Constantly forgetting, resetting and forgetting passwords, again and again. Clicking on dangerous links in emails, and opening malware-laden attachments. Repeatedly falling for scams and losing large amounts of money. Her computer life was making her distraught and miserable.
After working with her for a while, I made a suggestion I had never made before to a customer: I told her maybe she should stop using her computer, period. In fact, get rid of the cursed thing. After some discussion, she agreed. After cleaning the computer up, she gave it away and never looked back.
Months later she called me, and thanked me profusely for my efforts. She said, “I’m happier than I’ve been in years. For entertainment and knowledge, I watch TV, read books and spend time with my family. It’s wonderful. Thank you!”
“No, thank you,” I thought, later. If she hadn’t gotten rid of the computer, I didn’t know what else to do to help her. Thank you.
Dave Moore, CISSP, has been fixing computers in Oklahoma since 1984. Founder of the non-profit Internet Safety Group Ltd, he also teaches Internet safety community training workshops. He can be reached at 405-919-9901 or www.internetsafetygroup.org